How to Get Out of My Own Way: Embracing Your Power to Move Forward. Unlock Your Potential: How to Stop Holding Yourself Back. Overcoming Self-Doubt: From Stuck to Successful.
Sometimes, the biggest obstacle in your path is yourself. You might think you’re working toward your goals, but deep down, certain habits, fears, or doubts could be holding you back. Self-sabotage can show up as procrastination, overthinking, or avoiding something new because it feels uncomfortable.
The first step to getting out of your own way is recognizing when you’re stuck in these patterns (perhaps from childhood?). Ask yourself: Am I resisting change out of fear, or am I really doing something to move forward? Surrounding yourself with people who understand your journey can make a huge difference, but it’s essential to choose those who lift you up rather than reinforce false beliefs. Building a supportive community takes time, so it’s okay to start small while being cautious about who you let in.
Finding your people doesn’t mean you stop being safe or careful—it means prioritizing connections that help you grow. Change is hard, but with the right support, you can embrace new habits and shed the old ones that no longer serve you. It’s time to stop standing in your own way and start creating the life you’ve always wanted.
How to Get Out of My Own Way: Embracing Your Power to Move Forward
Why Fear Holds You Back
- Fear is often rooted in childhood: Many of the fears that hold you back today were planted during your childhood. Maybe you were told you weren’t good enough or you learned to fear failure or rejection. These experiences shape how you view your abilities as an adult.
- Fear of failure and judgment: You may be afraid of what others will think or of failing. But these fears are often exaggerated and prevent you from taking risks.
- You are your own barrier: The truth is, no one else is stopping you. It’s the internal narratives and fears that you’ve adopted over the years that create roadblocks.
Moving Past Fear and Realizing It’s You Holding You Back
- Acknowledge the fear: Recognize the fears that are holding you back. What are you afraid of, and where did those fears come from? Are they based on past experiences or just imagined outcomes?
- Shift your perspective: Understand that fear is natural, but it doesn’t need to control you. When you embrace the fact that you are the one in control, it becomes easier to move past those fears.
- Take small steps: Start small. If the fear is overwhelming, break down your goal into manageable tasks. Each small action will help you build momentum and confidence. Not to lose sight of the big picture, but on the daily, focus on small tasks and actions that move the needle. I use the help of ChatGPT to help me plan my day and set up small actions to help me reach my weekly, monthly, and yearly goals.
Taking Control: You Have Agency
- You’re in charge now: As an adult, you have the power to rewrite the stories that have held you back. You can choose the thoughts and beliefs that support your growth and success. Word to the wise, this is not easy to do, you might have to expose yourself to repeated situations to practice replacing the voice in your head. Also, when you surround yourself with the right people, you will find this journey a discovery even if it is challenging. I’ve now realized that I should just “do it” instead of “intellectualizing” everything before doing some type of action. I do it, I feel it, and then I decide if I want to grow from it or continue it to get better and enjoy it.
- Replace old voices: The negative voices in your head, whether from childhood or past experiences, are not the truth. You can replace them with empowering beliefs about your capabilities. I have stickies all over my car to remind me of the words and verbiage that I want to use when doing something.
- Set your own standards: Define success on your own terms. Don’t let anyone’s opinions or expectations dictate what you can achieve. Sometimes we think we should be further along, but I have learned to slowly accept where I am in life and embrace my own way of doing things.
Small Steps to Get Out of Your Own Way
- Set daily intentions: Start each day with a clear intention to take one small step toward your goal. Whether it’s making a phone call, doing some research, or working on a part of the project, every action counts. When you do things you said you would do, you build self-trust.
- Celebrate small wins: Acknowledge and celebrate even the smallest victories. Each step you take is progress and helps build confidence.
- Practice self-compassion: Be kind to yourself. Don’t expect perfection—embrace the learning process and give yourself grace when things don’t go as planned. I found that I had a habit of always thinking I was at fault or there was something wrong with me and as much as self-reflection and accountability are good, I cannot be hard on myself all the time. Instead, I look at it as sure I have things to learn and develop, but at the same time, I want to also enjoy this journey. There’s nothing “wrong” with me, there are just things I am about to learn and discover – AND SO DOES EVERYONE ELSE. Normalizing this thought made me realize that I am not the only one on a learning journey, all of us are.
- Embrace all your “selfs”: This means, you embrace your past self, present self, and future self. This has helped me so much when doing things. I thank my past self for setting me up for things, my present self for showing up, and my future self for always giving us something to look forward to. It was a game changer for me because the “approval” that I usually looked for in other people started to shift to within my “selfs” – this doesn’t mean I don’t listen to feedback because I truly want to evolve and grow and learn. But I’ve learned that I am now selective on who and how that feedback is given. I no longer believe in “tough love” – but I embrace “steady and compassionate discovery & progress”.
It’s Not About the Outcome – It’s About the Journey
- Focus on who you’re becoming: The true value of pursuing your dreams isn’t in achieving the end goal but in who you become throughout the process. Every step you take is a step toward growth, resilience, and a stronger version of yourself. Sure I want to win, close the deal, sign the client, get promoted, or any other goal you’d want to achieve, but at the same time, as I am on that path, I am also becoming another version of myself and I can only hope that it’s a version that’s sustainable and kind. This doesn’t mean that you’re not strong or firm, because best believe I will fight and be firm about business, but at the same time, I just know when to not force things to a point that’s unsustainable and beyond hard on myself. The more I was able to distinguish when to let go of things, the more I opened up to things that are more aligned with who I am, and the more I became myself (my style and vibe!)
- Embrace the discomfort: Stepping out of your comfort zone can be uncomfortable, but that’s where growth happens. Embrace the discomfort and know that it’s a sign that you’re evolving. I have put myself in uncomfortable situations in order to grow. Now the key I found here is to know when to leave. Just because I am uncomfortable, doesn’t mean I have to sit through the whole thing. I still have to be gentle with myself so I limit myself on what I can process and manage, then leave to give myself a break.
- Learn from setbacks: Setbacks are part of the process. Rather than seeing them as failures, view them as opportunities to learn and refine your approach.
Saying Goodbye to Your Old Self : How to Get Out of My Own Way
- Let go of limiting beliefs: The person who was afraid of failure, rejection, or not being good enough is no longer who you need to be. Say goodbye to those limiting beliefs and step into a new version of yourself.
- Embrace your new self: Welcome the new, empowered version of you—the one who takes risks, learns from mistakes and isn’t afraid to chase big, crazy dreams. As crazy as this sounds, I use ChatGPT to write my new self a letter on how proud I should be of myself. We have to find ways to celebrate and inspire ourselves.
- Honor your growth: Take a moment to reflect on how far you’ve come. Celebrate the courage it took to get out of your own way and embrace a future filled with possibility. The things that you have now are probably the things that you used to pray for. Look at the things that you have access to now that you didn’t have. The verbiage that you now have that you can use to communicate your needs without being defensive or passive-aggressive. These are amazing growths that you have taken on and thrived in.
- Kill off your old identity. As brutal as this sounds, we will have to eventually say goodbye to old identities that no longer serve us. I remember identifying as “I’m just always scared..” and I had to kill that off. I am now identifying as “I am always excited..” – whatever the outcome is, I am always excited.
Moving Forward with Confidence
- Take action: The most important thing you can do is take action, no matter how small. Each step forward is a victory. Having a journal where you can write and reflect on the things you have done and achieved will help you look inward instead of outward for motivation and inspiration. Building self-trust is important. That no matter how hard, you will figure it out. However it looks like, you have the ability to make it right for you and your life. Sometimes that means moving out of your parents’ house to rooming with 6 more people to save money and be closer to the city where you want to find work. This might look odd and not a “smart” decision but you trust yourself that you will make the most of this and that this will be your journey wherever it will take you.
- Trust yourself: Believe in your ability to create the life you want. You’ve got this—it’s time to get out of your own way and make your dreams a reality.
- Stay safe: Listen to your gut instincts and also do your due diligence. Before joining a group or a community, research as much as you can, or if you have already joined it, check the fine print or find exit strategies for when you feel unsafe or uncomfortable. When you are on a journey, some people can prey on your amazing vibe but if you trust yourself and have safety awareness, you can protect yourself and leave situations or groups that are no longer serving your growth or aligned to the person you are trying to become.
How to Get Out of My Own Way: The Power to Move Forward
Getting out of your own way is one of the most empowering things you can do for yourself. It’s not about perfection but about progress—choosing to take small steps each day toward the life you want. Remember, the only person truly holding you back is often you, and breaking free from self-sabotage means embracing change and believing in your potential.
Surround yourself with supportive people, take action even when it’s scary, and trust that you’re capable of doing hard things. Growth comes from the process, not just the outcome, so celebrate every step forward. You have the power to move forward and become the version of yourself you’ve always dreamed of—start today!
