How to Be Your Own Best Friend

How to Be Your Own Best Friend. Self-Love Secrets: How to Be Your Own Best Friend. Discover Inner Peace: Tips to Befriend Yourself. Love Yourself More: Steps to Self-Friendship. Transform Your Life.

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Being your own best friend might sound a bit odd at first (like what?!), but it’s a powerful way to enhance your life, improve your mental health, and foster a deeper sense of self-love and acceptance. Here’s why it’s a great idea, what psychologists have to say about it, and how you can start implementing this practice in your daily life.

NOTE: Friendships and relationships with others are great and important for us to experience life to the fullest. However, our relationship with ourselves will help gauge how our relationships with others are. Another thing to look into is inner child healing to help you understand yourself more.

Why Being Your Own Best Friend Is a Good Idea

Imagine the support, kindness, and understanding you offer to your best friends. Now, imagine giving that same level of care and compassion to yourself. By being your own best friend, you create a strong foundation of self-love and resilience, enabling you to navigate life’s ups and downs with greater ease and confidence.

Dr. Kristin Neff, a leading researcher on self-compassion, emphasizes that treating ourselves with the same kindness we offer to others can significantly reduce stress, anxiety, and depression. It’s about becoming your own cheerleader, confidant, and source of encouragement.

How This Helps You Be a Better Person

When you learn to be kind and supportive to yourself, you naturally extend that kindness to others. Self-compassion and self-love foster empathy and understanding, allowing you to connect with people on a deeper level. You become more patient, less judgmental, and more present in your relationships.

I also found that when I truly “felt” how it is to be supported and cheered on, it was so much easier for me to also cheer on other people because I “truly” understand how amazing it feels and I would want to spread that feeling around even in the smallest way possible.

Promotes Better Health and Mental Health

Dr. Neff’s research shows that self-compassion is linked to lower levels of anxiety and depression, and higher levels of overall well-being. When you’re your own best friend, you’re more likely to take care of your physical health too. You’ll be kinder to your body, making healthier choices that promote long-term well-being.

How to Implement This in Small Ways Every Day

1. Positive Self-Talk

Start by changing the way you talk to yourself. Replace negative, critical thoughts with positive, encouraging ones. When you catch yourself thinking, “I can’t do this,” shift to, “I can try my best, and that’s enough.”

When something doesn’t work out, I find myself saying “What doesn’t work out is actually working out..” I’ve learned to give my best and do what is required, but at the same time, acknowledge that there are things I cannot control. I let the universe work out the kinks and I go through it daily like a brand new amazing day.

This doesn’t mean I don’t acknowledge other things other than the “positive” – I actually do. I sit through the uncomfortable feelings and tell myself, “It’s not okay right now… But it will be okay…”

2. Self-Care Routine (How to Be Your Own Best Friend)

Prioritize self-care activities that make you feel good. This could be as simple as taking a relaxing bath, reading a favorite book, or going for a walk. Make time for activities that recharge and uplift you.

I started working out in small batches. Just to build up. As you know, the first time it was hard and it was dragging. But as time went by, it was so hard for me to picture a week without working out. My body truly feels weird and I have less energy. Working out doesn’t mean rigorous runs and lifts, it can be a 10-15 minute of something. Then if you want to build from there, you do.

Just this summer, I posted in a community forum that I wanted to get back to playing badminton and was looking for partners or drop-ins that I could join. I got great responses and some not-so-great ones (lol!) but it ended up being a great experience. I had to play some games with some people that wasn’t vibing with me, but now, I have a great group that I can message to go drop-ins.

As weird as it sounds, I found that putting yourself out there is somewhat part of self-care because it enabled me to enjoy activities that need another person. Like I can only play so much tennis against the wall.

3. Set Boundaries

Learn to say no when you need to. Respect your own limits and don’t overextend yourself. Setting healthy boundaries is a crucial part of self-respect and self-love.

This one is a hard one for me. I learned that holding boundaries slowly is a great way to also introduce the “new” version of yourself to people without them being too “defensive” or in “doubt”. These people are still part of your lives, but sometimes being with them for 2 hours is better for you than spending a whole 4 hours with them.

I saw a TikTok that said, “Boundaries are there so that I can love you, while I also love myself.” *mic drop*

4. Celebrate Your Wins

No matter how small, celebrate your achievements. Did you complete a task you’ve been procrastinating? Celebrate it! Recognizing your accomplishments helps build a positive self-image.

Celebrating doesn’t mean splurging (or it can also be that if you are able to!), but little things like maybe getting your favorite drink, or going to a restaurant just to order dessert. Acknowledge your hard work. Give yourself kudos.

I have this thing where when I go out and *actually* follow through with my plan, I always tell my “past self” THANK YOU. Thank you for planning this for us. I appreciate you looking out for me. And honestly, I cry a little sometimes.

5. Practice Mindfulness

Stay present and engaged with your own thoughts and feelings. Mindfulness helps you to become more aware of negative self-talk and allows you to change it. Take a few minutes each day to sit quietly and breathe, focusing on the present moment.

Small 10-minute self-care moments will enhance your day.

6. Journal Your Thoughts (How to Be Your Own Best Friend)

Write down your thoughts and feelings regularly. Journaling is a powerful tool for self-reflection and can help you understand and manage your emotions better. It’s a space where you can be honest and open with yourself.

It’s like your safe space. This is why I love our Planner Collection. It’s almost like being able to open up to someone so freely. Not only that, I get to reflect on my own thoughts and it’s such a great healing and self-care experience.

7. Seek Professional Help if Needed

Sometimes, being your own best friend means recognizing when you need help. Don’t hesitate to reach out to a therapist or counselor if you’re struggling. They can provide valuable support and guidance.

If you’re the type that doesn’t want to drive out and sit on a couch (like me!), Talkspace has been a great source of therapy for me.

There are also community resources and groups that you can join that can connect you to professionals at a sliding scale fee where they charge you based on your salary.

8. Forgive Yourself

Everyone makes mistakes. Learn to forgive yourself and move forward instead of dwelling on past errors. Treat yourself with the same forgiveness and understanding you would offer a close friend.

Forgiveness doesn’t come easy and definitely not right away. But after sitting through the hurt, and pain, and processing the reality, give yourself the grace to accept that these things happen. I found that zooming out in the world helped me see that EVERY SINGLE person is going through something we don’t know about. You are not alone. This is life.

9. Surround Yourself with Positivity

Surround yourself with positive influences, whether it’s people, books, or activities. Limit exposure to negativity that can bring you down. Create an environment that supports your mental and emotional well-being.

I’ve curated my social media to work for me. I used to be want to updated with the latest gossip and songs, but now I’ve followed more accounts that help with self-development, positivity, emotional regulation, and similar pages. I also followed accounts that teach sports and inspire players that are just amazing. These are so inspiring to me.

Joe Dispenza said on a podcast with Lewis Howes that once we rehearse something in our mind, our brain will remember and our body can catch on for execution.

This is true for me. I would look at badminton moves and I would visualize myself doing it. The first few tries, I still suck, but after a while, I ended up catching on much faster and developing that move better. Which in turn, makes me want to practice and play more. See, the funny thing is, because I wanted to practice and play more, I also ended up working out more and watching more of what I eat and noticing how it makes me feel.

10. Stay Grateful (How to Be Your Own Best Friend)

Keep a gratitude journal and note down things you are grateful for each day. Focusing on gratitude shifts your mindset from what’s lacking to what’s abundant in your life.

Our Planner Collection bundle has all editable PDFs which means you can fill it out on the go. Save the file on your phone and you can fill it out and use it whenever you need it. I discovered a botanical garden in our area. It’s free admission but had to pay for parking, but it’s totally worth it. I sit under a willow tree around beautiful flowers and I fill out pages from the Planner Collection.